Petroleum Jelly
by RitsuYamashita
Summary: Happy Birthday Ichigo! That's how it all started. However, after a night of fun and games, teasing and rough-housing, drinking and payback. Ichigo's life soon starts to turn for the worse, or so he thinks.  Language and Sexual content in later chapters
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

Bam! "Owe!"

"Shh!"

"Nngh… But-"

The sounds of a small struggle can be heard, "I said shut it!"

Quietly this time, the other voice whined again, "I stubbed my toe! 'msorry… geez. Let's just get him and get out of here."

"My thoughts exact-" Blinding lights flashed on, setting the whole room aglow and illuminating the two figures still tangled on the floor. "-ly…"

A very tall, very angry man was standing at the entrance of a dark hallway. Arms cross, and looking very impatient in his otherwise sleep-drugged state. "What the hell're you two doin' in my house at two o'clock in the morning?" He whisper/yelled, staying "quiet" like the two intruders.

The man, who was pinned to the floor, was soon untangled, and throwing himself through the air at the angry man. "Ichiiii-!" That is until he saw that his would-be tackle-ee was completely naked, and now he was trying to stop mid-flight from touching the nude body. He didn't have to try very hard, for a large fist flew the air at lightning speed and planted itself in the flying man's face.

"Shut the fuck up Keigo!" Ichigo barked out. "Get out, both of you! What the hell're ya even doing here? Breakin' and entering is a crime, ya know!"

The second intruder just sat on the floor waiting for them to both realize they were both being rather loud. After Ichigo's last words, he held a hand up in the air to gain the blonde's attention. "We're here to kidnap you too, Ichigo, so it's actually two crimes."

Keigo groaned in the corner, where he'd landed, trying to right himself again. "Owwwe…"

Ichigo cocked a nude hip to the side, and crossed his arms over a broad chest again. "And in what right mind do you two think you can actually succeed in kidnapping me, Mizuiro?" he asks, looking and speaking only to the smaller man.

Mizuiro stood and walked over to Ichigo tapping on his phone like usual, but when he was near he turned it around to show the screen to Ichigo. It was an image of Ichigo making out with dark haired a girl. Judging from the school uniforms alone, it was obviously a very young, teenage version of him too.

Ichigo cocked an eyebrow high. "Why the hell d'you have something like that, Mizuiro?"

The shorter man shrugs as if it's nothing, still holding the phone up. "One never knows when one'll need _persuasion_." With the last word, he blindly began to hit the "next" button on his phone, showing a slow progression of Ichigo kissing the girl more, lifting her skirt, and ultimately doing something very perverse in a very public place. Mizuiro watched as the carrot-top's eyes bugged a little, and mouth fell open. When Ichigo grabbed for the phone, very intent of destroying the thing, Mizuiro quickly withdrew his hand and stepped back, protecting his valued device.

"Wha- How? Why the fuck would you watch and take pictures of something like that? You're a pervert!" Ichigo forgot to keep his voice down, feeling very violated now.

"Maybe." He replied, not denying it one bit, and tucked his phone away again. "But now I know you'll come with us no matter what."

Ichigo scoffed, "Why? 'Cause you have pictures like that? That's not enough to make me go off who-knows-where this early in the damn morning."

"You will if you don't want these spreading all over your pretty girlfriends email inbox." Mizuiro didn't even smirk at his own slyness. Keigo was kneeling on the floor watching, looking all the more like a lost puppy.

"What'd you show him, Mizu?"

"Nothing. Go back to sleep."

"But I wasn't-" Keigo actually squeaked and face blew up with a flush of color when Mizuiro pulled out his phone again and twisted it to show his friend the screen. He didn't even have to press any buttons, so it must've been his personal background. "I'll shut up now." He said, standing and sitting on the edge of the couch like a good boy.

Ichigo was still standing in shock of what Mizuiro said, that he barely noticed the other's exchange. He soon snapped out of it though, glaring at his short friend. "You're a really horrible person, Mizuiro. You know that, right?"

"No. I'm just good at getting what I want." He said, looking bored and tapping away on his phone again. "So what'll be, Ichigo? Stay here, or come with us. You only know the end result of one option, so how bad could the other one be?

Ichigo sighed, and rubbed a hand over his face. "Fine…" He said, not taking long at all to decide. "I'll go with you, but where and why?" He asked, wondering if he would regret going along with them even more than getting scolded by his girlfriend.

"That's for us to know, and you to find out." The smaller man said with a smile that always felt overly forced and fake.

Keigo stood with a huge grin. "You'll love it, Ichi! Now get some clothes on, and we'll go!" His excited words earned him smack on the head. "Owe! What was that for?" He glared down at Mizuiro, who was back to his phone already.

"Shut up, you're too loud."

Mizuiro's words reminded Ichigo that they should all be ultra-quiet. Shaking his head, he crept back down the hall and into his room to find some clothes to wear. Choosing what looked like White Polo shirt, and some tight blue jeans, he froze when the sheets rustled on the bed nearby.

"What're you doing?" A soft voice mumbled out.

Ichigo turned to peer through the darkness to the figure lying on the bed. He cursed himself for waking her up. "Keigo and Mizuiro broke in. They wanna take me somewhere." He said, explaining the noise the two idiots were still making out in the living room. Ichigo walked over to the bed, still shirtless, and crawled over the edge to lean over the much smaller body. "Go back to sleep. I'll be back soon enough." He chuckles, "knowing these two dumbasses, they just want to show me some knew gadget Mizuiro bought." Ichigo leans down to place a light kiss over her temple. When he pulled back, she was staring up at him with wide eyes. That permanent blush she held around him growing stronger. He loved that about his longtime friend, and recent lover. Inoue never failed to show all her thoughts and emotions plainly on her face.

"Okay, Kurosaki-kun... Don't curse." She turned onto her side and fell back asleep instantly. Ichigo smirked, wondering if she would even remember their exchange in the morning. Shaking his head, Ichigo finished dressing and walked back to the living room with a yawn.

"Okay, let's go and get this over with. I wanna be home before daylight." Ichigo said, already at the door, slipping on his shoes, and mumbling that he was glad he didn't have to work tomorrow.

Keigo and Mizuiro were right behind him, snickering about something he'd rather not know about, but had a feeling he was about to find out.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Ichigo didn't have to wait long to figure out what the snickering was all about. Keigo and Mizuiro happily led him to a bar, a very _suggestive _bar.

"Why the fuck did you two drag me out of my house at two A.M. if you were just going to a Titty Bar?" Ichigo complained as they walked up to the club.

Mizuiro and Keigo both turned and said in unison; "Because you're legal now."

"We had to wait two months-"

"Three for me." Keigo interrupted.

"-for you to turn twenty, so we could all go out drinking for the first time." Mizuiro turned back around and walked through the doors like he owned the place.

Ichigo absently remembered that yesterday was his birthday, having forgotten because it had been a small celebration and he was too pissed off and tired to remember such small details on his own. He followed after his friends with a scowl, "but I saw you get drunk on your birthday, Keigo, and you went off on some vacation resort for yours Mizuiro. Surely you drank wherever you were too."

Keigo turned to look at Ichigo, having already been staring at the half naked girls walking around the bar area. "Yeah, but this'll be the first time we all get to do it together. It's like…" Keigo thought for a second, "like the next step in our relationship." He smiled brightly and reached to throw an arm around the taller man's shoulders.

Ichigo sighed and actually let his eyes wander around the interior of the bar, also noting the sheer number of beauties in the club. Was it a rule to be unnaturally sexy to work in a place like this? "Fine, but don't refer to our friendship as a 'relationship'. It sounds weird."

Mizuiro led them to the front section to sit close to the dancing, wiggling, naked girls on stage. Ichigo had gotten over the whole nervousness of seeing naked females a long time ago, so seeing them now was no big deal. He looked over to see that Mizuiro either just didn't care about where they were, or nudity didn't bother him either, but he sat there tapping away on his phone until a girl in a tiny neon bikini came up to ask for their orders. He ordered for everyone, and she went off to comply. Ichigo looked to paste Mizuiro at Keigo on his other side, and smirked. The man was blushing hard at the dancer thrusting her pelvis in front of him, her large breasts bouncing as she moved. She smirked at his friends innocent response, but saw that he was too dumbfounded to give up what she wanted, and moved on to a shake her ass for a group of older men.

After a moment, Ichigo had an unknown alcoholic beverage in front of him and was staring at the women. Before he knew it, the fruity tasting drink was gone and he kind of wanted another one. Leaning closer to Mizuiro he asked; "Hey, what was that I just drank? It was good."

"I dunno, I just told the chick that it was your twentieth birthday and to start you off with something simple."

Keigo looked as if he'd already had enough when he leaned over to throw his arms over Mizuiro's back and look up at Ichigo. "Hey, let's have a contest with shots. I just saw those old guys do it." He juts a thumb at the group of older men. "I bet we could beat 'em!"

Ichigo rolled his eyes, "Whatever, you're already drunk, Keigo. Why should we go along with you?" he asked, leaning an elbow on the wooden bar.

"'Am not!" He exclaimed, "And because it'll be fun! We're here to get you drunk on booze and tits, Ichi!" Keigo turned to call one of the servers, and started to ask for shots, but paused and looked at Mizuiro. "What should we get?"

Mizuiro sighed and turned to the waiting girl with a grin, "can we have a bottle of Apfelkorn and three shot glasses?" The girl nodded and when off to get they're new drinks.

"What's Apple-corn?" Ichigo asked, looking a little bored.

"_Apfelkorn." _Mizuiro corrected, "and it's a German drink. It's basically Schnapps, but sweeter and half the alcohol." He looks at Ichigo. "So we can drink more while he gets drunker." Points over his shoulder to Keigo who went back to watching the dancers.

"Ah… Okay." Ichigo wasn't sure about his own alcoholic tolerance. He'd never drank before, so he could easily be as bad as Keigo, or he could hold his own like Mizuiro seemed to be doing, even if they've each only had one drink so far. He didn't have much longer to think about it when the shots arrived, and Mizuiro was pouring the first round. Ichigo took the drink, and sniffed it, smiling when he smelled apples. He downed the liquid in one go, grimacing when it didn't really taste like apples. Setting the glass down, Mizuiro refilled it and urged Ichigo to drink more. Which he did, thinking he just had to get used to the taste.

Sometime later, and a little over half the bottle gone, Ichigo laid his head on the bar to steady it. Keigo was almost out cold, and Mizuiro looked like he was only just now feeling the effects of the alcohol. "Why da fuck did I agree ta this?" Ichigo grumbled into the wood.

"Because I made you with dirty pictures." Mizuiro replied, leaning forward a bit to toss a bill at a dancer who seemed to be very talented in her profession.

"Oh…" Ichigo didn't like that answer, so he raised his head again, wanting to punch his friend, but the movement caused his head fall off onto the floor. "Oohh Shit..." He reaches up to steady it, before reaching for the bottle they were still working on, pouring more into his glass and gulped it down. For some reason, thinking more alcohol would counteract the liquor already in his system. This wasn't a good idea since he did it three more times and slammed his head on the bar again.

At that moment, Keigo decided to sit up out of his coma and yell. "I WANNA GO SOMEWHERE!" Several people, patrons and workers, turned to eye the sudden outburst.

"You already are somewhere, Keigo." Mizuiro said.

"Noooo… I wanna go sum- somewhere eeelse…" He whined, flopping over Mizuiro's shoulder to support himself. "Take me somewhere, Mizu-chaaan!"

"Don't call me Mizu-chan." Mizuiro said with a sigh and stood, leaving Keigo to fall over onto his now empty seat, then threw a few bills on the bar to pay for their drinks. Seeing that Ichigo hadn't moved since his last drinking fit, Mizuiro punched Keigo and told him to grab Ichigo so they could leave. Complying, but failing, Keigo got the unwarranted help of one of the bouncers to escort them out of the bar safely.

Ichigo seemed to be barely hanging on until the cool night air woke him up and he stumbled forward. "Where th'hell're we?"

Before anyone could answer his slurred question, Keigo tripped over something that wasn't even there, and crashed into Ichigo, crumpling both of them to the ground. "Oooouchie…" Keigo whined.

"Ugh.. 'Ouchie', my ass! Get off me, dumbass!" Ichigo squirmed out from under Keigo, and punched the other man playfully on the arm. Free, Ichigo sat there for a moment to let another wave of drunken dizziness wash over him. That's when he saw a glowing 'OPEN' sign in a window across the street. "Is that another bar?" He asked, not reading anything other than the glowing red words yet. Just guessing that only bars and strip clubs would be open at this hour.

"No." Mizuiro said, standing back from the two drunk idiots, "It's a tattoo parlor."

"Oh…" Ichigo sat for a moment longer before standing and stumbling across the street to the shop. Basically slamming his whole body against the glass to peer inside, cupping his hands, Ichigo didn't see anyone. "I wonder if they jus' left the light on… on accident…" He mussed aloud.

"Don't tell me you want to get a tattoo now, Ichigo. You don't even seem drunk enough to be that stupid." Mizuiro said from behind him, Keigo having stood and thrown himself over the smaller man's shoulders again for support.

"No, I've just never been in a shop befo-"

"Hey, you kids get out of here. I don't need you foggin' up my windows." The door had swung open right beside Ichigo, making him nearly jump out of his skin because he hadn't even seen anyone approach the door. It was a tall man, taller than Ichigo, with long red hair in a high ponytail that fell in intriguing layers down over his broad shoulders. Jagged tattoos on his forehead, neck, and arms gave him an intimidating atmosphere, like he could pounce and rip them all to shreds, but all the predator-like man did was stand there glaring at the three intoxicated boys. He was wearing a bandana on his forehead that covered most of the black ink up there, and a black, button down vest-shirt. The collar was low enough that Ichigo could see more tattoos on the man chest too. The redhead's look was finished off with a pair of torn up, faded black jeans. His pants didn't look like they were bought that way either, more like he earned those holes. The only thing he was missing was black leather boots, instead, his feet were completely bare, but Ichigo only had enough time and energy to note that fact before Keigo started yelling at the tattooed man.

"He ain't foggin' up anything! Ichi wants a tat!"

"Do not!" Ichigo said, turned back to his friend with a scowl.

Keigo pouted and raised his arm uselessly, "Well I do!"

The tall red haired man sighed, "Look, if ya want some ink, ya better have cash up front. If not, then get lost." He was turning to leave when Mizuiro dropped Keigo to the ground, and caught the door. "What?" Inked brows furrowed down at the much smaller man, getting annoyed no doubt.

"I'll pay." Mizuiro pulled out his wallet and opened it to show several bills inside. Bills that appeared to all be of a high value. "I'll pay if I can watch this." He grinned evilly.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

The man caught on instantly and grinned back, "I like guys like you, makes my job all the more enjoyable." He said, opening the door again to let them all in, even going so far as to help get the lightweight-Keigo inside too.

Once they were all in, and seated in some form or another, Ichigo in a chair by the wall, Mizuiro was writing on something at the front desk, and Keigo was quickly falling asleep on one of the Tattooing tables next to Ichigo, mumbling incoherent gibberish for a second before falling silent again. The redhead was preparing inks, needles, and everything else he would need for a proper tattooing. Preparing the tattoo gun, he turned to Mizuiro to ask what Keigo wanted, completely ignoring the person who was actually about to get the permanent addition to his body. The smaller man grinned evilly again as he finished what he was doing, the artist chuckled darkly when Mizuiro stepped close to hand off the slip of paper.

"This. On his ass." Mizuiro said, obviously enjoying this.

As soon as the location was pointed out, the redhead burst out laughing, and actually needed a moment to calm down. "Oh man, this'll ruin the kid's sex life forever." He said still chuckling each time he looked at it. "It's been a while since I got to do one of these."

"What is it?" Ichigo asked, his curiosity getting the best of him finally.

The man grinned and leaned over the table, and Keigo, to show Ichigo the paper. In scrolling, fancy black letters wrote the words 'Mizu's Bitch'. It didn't take long for a smirk, then a snort, and then full on laughter to bubble up out of Ichigo.

"Oh, my god!" He could barely stop laughing. "Mizuiro! Why would ya do that ta him?"

Ichigo was answered with a lazy shrug, "Let's just say that he owns me one, and whether he's aware of it at the time, he's paying me back now."

"Whoa, You're 'Mizu'?" The tattooist asked, piecing together the names of the tattoo and the name the carrot-top called the short one.

Mizuiro nodded, and pulled out his phone to fiddle with it as if nothing evil was about to take place.

The man just snorted and finished his preparations, "Does it matter where it is on his ass?" He asked, reaching around Keigo's hips to unbuckled his belt, and unbutton his jeans to be easier to pull the denim down.

Mizuiro turned, and tucked his phone away to help the man pull Keigo's jeans down. Then, after turning his exposed friend over onto his belly, he ran a finger diagonally down one cheek, not embarrassed in the least about touching his friend's ass, then diagonally up the other one. "Mizu's. Bitch. Like an arrow pointing to his asshole."

Both Ichigo and the man started laughing again. "Oh man, I'm startin' ta feel sorry for this guy." The artist said, already having cleaned the area and was shaving the superficial hairs from Keigo's rump, chuckling as he thought of a line from a stupid movie about a guy shaving his ass for a bet.

"Don't be. Keigo's a dick and he deserves it." Mizuiro said, going back to his phone.

"What did Keigo do, Mizuiro? I mean… for him ta get _this_?" Ichigo couldn't suppress another snorted giggle.

Mizuiro stood with his back turned for a minute before shrugging again. "That's between me and Keigo, no need for you to know the details." Then he walked off to sit in a chair by the door to mess with his cellphone more, probably texting women no doubt.

While the boy's talked, the artist cut the paper Mizuiro had given him between the words, then walked over to a machine, that looked something like a printer, behind the front desk. When the tattoo stencil was prepared and brought back, he gave Keigo's rear one more swipe with disinfectant, before carefully placing the words on the round cheeks.

Ichigo stared around the curtain hiding Keigo's tattooing area for a moment before he too shrugged, and turned back to the tattooist and Keigo, who was completely passed out on the table with his ass in the air, snoring softly. He watched the stencil paper be removed and thrown away.

"So Keigo is this unfortunate soul, the demon is Mizu, what's your name kid?" The man asked, grabbing up the tattoo gun, and buzzing it a few times before dipping the end into a tiny container of black ink, drawing the ink up into the reservoir, and turned back to start giving virgin skin its first ink scar.

"Ichigo Kurosaki." he replies, talking over the guns buzzing.

The man snorts, "are you serious? Ichigo?"

Ichigo's ever present scowl grew harsher, "Yeah, gotta problem with it?"

"No, no, not at all. It's cute." That earned him another glare, "My name's Renji Abarai. I own this place, 'Abarai Tattoo and Piercings'." He said, grinning at Ichigo for a moment. "Sit back, relax, and enjoy your friend's torture. This won't take long at all."

Ichigo felt surprisingly sober, but in reality he was still swaying slightly, holding himself up in the edge of his chair between his legs. "Well, Abarai-san, at least make it look good for his sake." He said, ignoring the obvious amusement the other man found in his name. Ichigo was used to people like that though, so there was no reason to get angry about it.

"Yeah, yeah. Have some faith in me, kid." He said, reaching back to take a sip from some sort of bright drink before going back to work.

Ichigo watched Renji do this a few more times before it finally clicked in his sluggish mind, "Are you drunk, and still tattooing people?"

"Drinking and drunk are two different things." He took another gulp of the iced liquid that was as brightly colored red as his hair. "Want some? It's good."

"Give him some." Mizuiro suddenly chimed in from across the parlor. "It's his birthday and he's too sober, still complaining about everything."

"What? I am not." Ichigo scowled at his friend around the curtain while Renji chuckled.

Renji set the gun down, and grabbed his empty glass before walking through a beaded curtain with a 'STAFF ONLY' sign above it, returning soon with his glass refilled, and a new one in his other hand. "Give it a go, kid."

"What is it?" Ichigo took the cold glass, eyeing the red liquid.

"Just a simple mix of Vodka an' cranberry juice. I don't really have the patience to make it any fancier than that."

"Hmm… Okay." Ichigo shrugged and gulped some, not really knowing if he would like it or not, but he soon found out. Cringing at the taste of cranberries at first, drinking a bit more when it wasn't _that_unpleasant, but then the after taste of Vodka hit him. Swallowing was a rough process to go through, gasping and rubbing his tongue on the roof of his mouth, still swallowing with a grimace when it was finally down. "That was…"

"Good?" Renji supplied, taking his seat again and sipping from his own glass.

Ichigo looked up, the fresh alcohol jump starting the liquor already in his system, making his face flush with color. "Yes and no." He dared a second sip, testing it more cautiously this time. "It's good, but inna gross way. 'don't think I like Vodka."

Renji chuckled and scooted back to Keigo's ass. "Keep drinking, it'll only get better. It's my favorite."

Ichigo nodded, and continued to drink while he watched his friend sleep through what was probably a lot of pain. Sometime later, and a few glasses of the vodka cranberry drink, Ichigo was lost in a drunken fit of giggles from something Renji had said, nearly fell out of his chair.

Mizuiro came back in then, having heard the laughter, and the tattoo gun's buzzing stop. "Is it finished, Abarai-san?"

Renji finished whipping the extra ink off Keigo's ass before slapping it a few times with the cloth like he'd just done a good wax job on a car. "Yer bitch is ready an' waitin' fer ya, sir." The drawled words giving a mock servile feel to his deep voice.

Ichigo did fall out of his chair this time, laughing so hard he was crying. "A-ahaha! Oh god, this's too-" Ichigo crumpled in another fit of laughter, joined by Mizuiro and Renji this time, all three laughing far too much the sleeping man's expense.


End file.
